I have always been somebody who has worked really hard and never given themselves time to have a break. I saw myself as a work horse who could just keep going.
Because of this I’ve always set myself high targets and I have been very hard on myself in the process.
A few years ago I ended up getting sick to the point of my body giving up and I got adrenal exhaustion. Over the past few months I have been working on myself.
Working on loving myself on nurturing myself, it hasn’t been easy because by creating change we have to change behaviours that we have had for a long time.
I had this behaviour for over 40 years. Change can happen but it takes awareness and time. Not everything can be fixed in a day or an hour, some things take practice and determination to get there.
This is something I have been aware of on a daily basis and I have been taking time for myself, doing things I love and taking up my hobbies again.
Sometimes the universe gives us tests to see if what we are working towards are really what we want.
I’ve been doing a course during the last 10 months and I graduated this weekend. During the course I realised that I used to self sabotage so much.
There was so much self hatred within me which was driving my behaviour to punish myself to the point of collapse. I would give or do anything for others but never do things for myself.
This was a subconscious behaviour and I had no idea it was going on, so therefore I couldn’t change it.
Through this course I manage to really see what I was doing and because I was aware, I could create the change I wanted. I wanted to start liking myself and then loving myself.
I wanted to start doing things for me, I wanted to take time for me. I wanted to do things that make me feel good and I wanted to do things that nourished my body.
Now this weekend was the end of the course, the graduation night. We had the graduation on Saturday evening. We had one last day on Sunday to finish the course.
I have had a really bad flu all week and pushed myself to see my clients, to do my webinar, to write my articles to do the things that I have to do in a work week.
Obviously because we have a course on the weekend, I had no time to rest so I did what I do and I turned up on the Saturday, but rather than really enjoying the course I was trying to stay awake and trying to just be present.
I realised that the best place for me was at home in bed. So after I got home on Saturday I sent a message to my teacher and said I would not be in on Sunday.
I decided I needed to sleep and rest. So although I missed the last day of the course I feel that in that process I got so much out of it.
I learnt that rather than doing what was expected of me and turning up for the course, I listened to my body and I slept for 12 hours, I went for a walk on the beach and got some fresh air and then I had another nanna nap.
To me in the past, this would have been an absolute failure. It goes to show how far I’ve come because I see this as a great success!
Even though I didn’t manage to be there on the last day of my course, (and it would have been a great day) I was there for myself and that’s the most important thing that we can do in our life. To be there for ourselves and nurture ourselves and love ourselves.
We can not really love anyone until we love ourselves. I have heard this said so many times before but I didn’t really get it until now. I am starting to love myself and it feels so good.
From now on I will listen to my body and let it guide me to where I need to go because when you have a great relationship with your body, you will have a great relationship with life.
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Sharon White
If you would like to learn more and work with me one on one I would love to work with you. I am passionate about people having a voice, being heard and creating the change you want in your life.
You can contact me at sharon@globalhealingexchange.com to see how I can help you. Sharon is the founder of Global Healing Exchange. You can work with her on her Emotional Freedom Program here.
