I want to start by explaining why I picked this topic as a subject for a magazine. It seems a little strange as a title but I want you show you how important it is to be connected.

I have just gone through the worst depression of my life and during that time the world felt dark and I felt completely alone and disconnected from everyone and everything.

The great news is I am now out the other side and I have a better understanding why I needed to go through this time of disconnection. Because of this experience, I was able to finish writing my book and I have emerged a stronger person. So not so bad after all you may say.

In my disconnection, I realised I have to reconnect to survive. I also realised that so many of us are feeling the same way. We are in a world of disconnection, for example, on the internet where we can talk to each other but we don’t have to be near each other, or look each other in the eye.

We can do business, work, shop, and date from the comfort of our isolated houses. We are living in a superficial world, where we can show all of the fun things that happen in our life and leave out the things that does not make us look good.

This makes people feel disconnected. People see others having a ball and don’t realise that it is not real life, but because we don’t physically talk to each other anymore, we don’t realise this. We see the highlight of other people’s life and think that is the whole of reality. Instead of realising it’s a show-reel.

When we see other people’s show-reels we feel inadequate and unable to live up to the lives of others. We start shutting ourselves down even more because we feel we can never be happy all of the time, like the people we see on social media.

The truth of the matter is, most people I know had no idea that I was having suicidal thoughts. I was able to put on a smile and tell the people who asked me that I was doing well, but that was only a mask.

I was crying on the inside, with my inner voice shouting out HELP ME, I CAN’T COPE ANYMORE! I felt like I couldn’t speak and no one would understand me if I did.

I thought that I couldn’t be a healer, the owner of a holistic magazine and healing portal, and a therapist who helps people through depression, if I told people how I was really feeling, so I kept it inside and buried it a little deeper. I know many others use this strategy too.

What helped me out of my depression was the realisation that I had to reconnect. Not only with others but my sense of self, my emotions, beliefs, thoughts, body, and little by little I started getting stronger and stronger.

The stronger I got, the more I started connecting with my friends, telling them how I had been feeling. The power of talking to them helped me connect even more. When I connected more, I started doing things I love again. Doing this made me start feeling strong again.

Just like a tree, the stronger the roots, (that grounds them and connects them to the world) the stronger it grows. We all need to grow strong connections like a tree does.

This was a very powerful process for me and I hope that through this magazine, and through the eyes of the other experts, you will see areas in your life where you can connect a little more.

This magazine will show you how to build emotional connection in a relationship with others and with yourself. It will help you see the signs of emotional connection.

Whether you want to know how to build emotional connection with a man, or how to build emotional connection with a woman, or how to build emotional connection with customers, the suggestions from our experts can help you.

I hope you learn how to build emotional connections, and see signs of emotional connection, to help you grow, heal and flourish.

Loneliness is like playing table tennis on your own; hard, futile and frustrating. And yet many people are lonely, and many others are just totally isolated. How often do you hear the story of some old person who died, and they didn’t find the body for years?

But what does loneliness or even a lack of connection do to you? Well it seems it can make you far more susceptible to die earlier than people who aren’t lonely. It can cause lonely children to have very different brains.

It can make you sick. And of course, if you are lonely and you get sick, then life gets really hard, real quick as you can’t do things on your own.

Yet we live in this hyper-connected world of Facebook, Instagram, YouTube; the list goes on and on. But does social media really fix loneliness? Or do you need real, solid, real world connections to someone, anyone?

In some realms quantity has a quality of its own, but for friends, are the 2,456 people you are connected to on Facebook real, or just as fake as the news that platform hosts?

Interestingly over the last couple of years I’ve been part of a community visitor service where I go see my ‘Old Guy’ once every couple of weeks. Just say hi. Chat. Help where I can.

But what has really struck me is how hard life is today. If you haven’t grown up hyper-connected and are online 48 hours a day, then it is immensely hard to do ‘life.’

Let me give you an example of how this plays out; a large nasty telco stuffs up a bill. Then they start sending threatening letters to cut off the phone, which for many is a lifeline they really can’t afford to do without.

Despite repeated visits to the Telco to complain, and endless promises to fix, nothing happens. If you aren’t au fait with how life operates today how do you fix that without massive amounts of anxiety?

The answer is you ask a person who is connected who puts a complaint in to the Telecommunications Ombudsman and the problem is magically resolved in a week. Well five months and a week.

Following on from that, let me pose a question; when you were in trouble, or just needed some help, how many people did you feel you could turn to? Rely on for help? I’m going to guess that number is not many.

The thing is though, how would you feel if that number was zero. None. That you felt as though you couldn’t turn to anyone in times of strife?

And that is the point. Without connections you are missing out on so much. Everything is so much better when you do it with someone else. A partner in crime just makes life brighter. More enjoyable.

So, my ask, my suggestion, is for those who have connections, who aren’t lonely, perhaps spending a couple of hours a month helping those who are lonely. Go talk to your neighbours.

Go find a community service that helps you link up to people who are isolated in the community. It is essential you know how to build connection in a relationship with others as well as how to build emotional connection for your own health and well being.

The Lethality of Loneliness. Shulevitz, J. 13th May, 2013. Access from
https://newrepublic.com/article/113176/science-loneliness-how-isolation-can-kill-you

You may have read my opening article talking about my personal experience of needing to find connection. Many studies have shown that social connection improves both physical health and psychological well-being.

Social connection is something we are not taught in school, yet many children connect to others naturally. We tend to encourage children to connect with their friends but as we get older, we don’t see the importance of it.

We tend to put ‘work’ first and our time with our friends become secondary.

When looking at children, developing social skills prepares them for a lifetime of healthier interactions in all aspects of life. They become more considerate to their peers as well as their family.

They are more easily able to express their wants and needs, helping develop them further as they grow. These are all very important parts to developing social skills in order to develop more complex connections.

Feeling connected gives us a sense of feeling like we belong to the group, a sense of identity in contrast to others in the group, it gives us a support system, and reason not to feel lonely.

This is how we are supposed to feel to be able to thrive in society. Connection is something that we quickly learn we need once we don’t have it anymore.

As mentioned in my previous article, the world is changing and we are becoming more disconnected from each other. Social studies show that social connectedness is declining.

In 1985 Americans claimed to have only three people that they can discuss important matters with. In 2004 it had dropped to only one.

This survey suggests that one in four people that we meet may have no one to call a close friend! That is a sobering thought!

It is no wonder as we spend more and more time alone, isolated, on our phone, listening to music when out in public, looking down and not giving each other eye contact, it is getting to the point, if someone actually looks at you and says hello, it is no longer the norm.

We think they are a little weird!

Why Is Connection Important?

When we are disconnected, we feel alone, empty, unworthy, have no confidence, frustrated, overwhelmed and so on. If you look up how you will feel if you had depression you will see the same feelings, and we all know how prevalent depression is in society.

We also know what affect it has on our mental and physical wellbeing.

Feeling disconnected generates a negative feedback loop of feeling sad, alone and lost. When we feel like this emotionally, our physical wellbeing sufferers.

Feeling connected generates a positive feedback loop of social, emotional and physical well-being. When we are connected, we start to thrive.

When we have great relationships, our confidence and self-esteem increases. These relationships make us feel important, worthy, and more confident. 

These powerful feelings motivate us to develop social skills so that we can meet people and develop deeper relationships with others.

You see that once we are more connected to others, we become more powerful.

When we have a good sense of connection to ourselves and others, we can do great things. So now understanding this, how can we connect more? How to build emotional connection?

How Do You Connect With Others?

Connecting with others, for many, is much simpler than connecting with themselves. We connect with others daily. Here are some ways we do this naturally:

· Smile and make eye contact

· Get into rapport and have open body language

· Ask a question to find out how the other person is feeling

· Acknowledge them and show them that you’ve been listening

· Have a conversation over a coffee

How Do You Connect With Yourself?

This seems to be something many of us have to work at. It isn’t as natural for us anymore to connect with ourselves.

· Check Into Your Body Daily

How often do you check into your body? Ask yourself this simple question; How do I feel right now? Tune into your body and notice what it’s telling you. Is there any pain or tingling? Is there a heavy feeling?

Is there any area that feels like it wants to talk to you? If it could talk to you, what would it say? Pay attention to that feeling, then write down your message.

· Go Inside & Find Silence Through Meditation

In a crazy, noisy world, we forget to tune into ourselves. Our time is spent looking after others, working and general busyness. The last thing most of us do is spend time on ourselves.

Take 5 minutes a day to be silent and be present with yourself. (I suggest to my clients they set a timer. That way it becomes a routine). Notice your thoughts coming and going and as you do that and you can begin to relax.

· Slow Down Your Breathing

Have you noticed when you are busy or stressed, your breathing becomes fast and shallow? The opposite is true when you are more relaxed. Your breathing slows down and becomes deeper. Sit down and consciously slow down your breathing taking deep breaths in and letting them out.

Count to ten seconds on the in breath, and ten seconds on the out breath. Bring your awareness to your breathing and notice how much calmer you are feeling now.

· Become Aware Of Your Thoughts

Become aware of your thoughts because the things you focus on become your reality. Your thoughts hold tremendous power. If you choose to think about negative things, you attract negative things.

If you choose to think about positive things, you attract positive things. Are your thoughts thinking about how disconnected you are or how connected you are? Change your thoughts and change your life.

When you really grasp this, you can start manifesting the things you want into your life.

· Feel Your Feelings

Many of us are so disconnected from life. We feel like we have to be everything to everyone and sometimes forget about ourselves. We rush around not feeling anything. We may have a sore back, but we continue rushing around.

We may have a headache but we carry on regardless. Your body is trying to talk to you by giving you these messages, signals and sensations.

SLOW DOWN and let yourself feel your feelings. Feel the sensations in your body. Ask them what they are telling you. This way you can start to reconnect with your body’s inner wisdom. Again, write down any messages your body is giving you.

· Move Your Body

Tune into your body and ask how it wants to move today. Does it tell you it wants to sit and relax? Does it tell you it wants to burn off energy and go for a run? Does it feel like stretching, dancing or walking in nature?

Like in life, our energy levels increase and decrease constantly. When we are in tune with our body, we can hear what it is telling us.

Movement and exercise is a form of self-love. Rather than forcing your body to do something it does not want to do today. Listen to it and give it some love. When you do what your body asks you to do, you start releasing happy hormones and start feeling good.

· Have Fun

Do more of what makes you happy. If you could do anything you wanted right now, what would it be? What gives you energy? What lights your heart on fire? What makes you smile? What makes you laugh? Do you have hobbies?

Do you paint, dance, make models, read, exercise? Do you like spending time with your friends and loved ones? Are you making room for these things in your life?

When you are having fun and feel happy, your body chemicals send you positive feedback loops. You start feeling good and it makes you want to do more things that make you feel happy.

Feeling your emotions in this way is a great way to get in touch with your body and learn how to build emotional connection. A great start is finding time to do something each day that makes you feel good.

These small, daily actions become routines that help us deepen our connection to ourselves and connection to our body. They help us stay grounded, gain confidence, and live in alignment with what we really want to live a happier, healthier life.

Connection – A word with many meanings – what a great challenge.

The first thing for me to do, in writing this article, was to make a ‘connection’ to the word. I then had to make a connection to my intellect or mind, and then make a connection to what was going on in there.

The next connection was to connect the thoughts in my mind into words on the screen so that this article could be written. One can already see the complexities of writing about ‘connection’.

However, for the purpose of writing something for Holistic Living, on this topic of connection, I will write about two aspects of connection from the more spiritual perspective:

· Connection with Self
· Connection with the Spiritual Realms

With regard to making a connection with Self, this is also a complex topic, as we first have to establish what we actually mean by ‘Self’.

It would be quite easy to speak and write generically, and without a framework or context (or connection), but that is not how I choose to speak or write with regard to things of this nature – I like to bring more clarity, focus and context into what I share.

Firstly then, for this article, I will outline what I define as ‘Self’. For me, this ‘Self’ needs to be separated into several selves. Once separated, and understood, we can then re-unite them and get a deeper sense of the ‘Self’ from a more holistic viewpoint.

I will try and keep this quite basic and simple, and if you wish to go deeper down the rabbit hole into more aspects of the self, then please do so.

There are some great books, videos and teachers out there to help you to do this. For now though, I want to focus on what I call ‘The Four-Fold Human Being’. This model will give us some understanding and context to work from with our topic of ‘connection’.

The Four-Fold Human Being

This four-fold model of the human being that I use in my work, and wish to share with you, was developed by Rudolf Steiner from his understanding and perspective of the spiritual human being from his own study and investigation, which was built on earlier work from such great men as Socrates and Goethe.

This model consists of the physical body, etheric body (or life body), the astral body and the ’I’.

Our Physical Body

Our physical body – bones, skin, hair, nails, etc., are connected to the mineral realm of calcium, silicates, carbon and other physical elements. We can relate this to the idea or image of being ‘earthly’ beings connected to the Earth.

Pinch yourself a few times on your arms and legs and you will experience and know that you are a physical being. Do it hard enough and you will also experience and know the sense of pain!

Our Etheric/Life Body

Our ‘etheric’, or ‘life body’, is more connected to the plant realm, in an energetic sense. The plant world is made of the physical but also contains a living, measurable ‘life force’.

We can call this the life body. We can relate this to the idea of being like water beings – connected to the element of water. This etheric body is somewhat like a mirror image of the physical body.

The difference being, all of the separate parts in the physical body are represented and mirrored in the etheric body, as a whole, with no separation. The etheric body is a whole complete energy field.

Unfortunately, with most allopathic and conventional medicos, the etheric body is not even taken into consideration.

When we are ill or do not attend to our needs it takes longer to recover and depleting the etheric forces through the use of certain medicines and medical practices and procedures may prolong the healing process.

The physical and etheric bodies cannot be separated. When they are, one thing is certain – death occurs! And, herein lays one of the fundamental connections that we have with ourself – the physical and etheric bodies!

Our Astral Body

Our ‘astral body’ is imbued with individual soul aspects or bodies of which there are several. The astral body is more connected to the animal realm in the sense that animals have feelings, instincts and natural habits and drives like mating, eating and migrating.

Like plants, animals are also made up of the physical and etheric, but they also have this other dimension called the astral body.

For humans, having an astral body means that we can experience feelings, desires, instincts and emotions.

The ‘I’

The ‘I’ that I refer to is from my understanding and study from Anthroposophy.

“The ‘I’ lives in the body and the soul, but the spirit lives in the ‘I’”

Our ‘I’ is fueled by spirit. It is imbued with spiritual energy and light. The ‘I’ is the core essence of our being and is, or certainly should be, in charge.

Of all the physical beings on the planet, only the human being has an ‘I’. It is this very aspect of our being which allows us to act out of moral free choice – or not! By possessing an ‘I’ we can become self-conscious and conscious of others.

Using our conscious spiritual ‘I’ is a major aspect of becoming and staying centred, being aware and able to make conscious choices. The ‘gift’ of the ‘I’ is that we do have the freedom of choice and can express our individuality.

The question that we have to ask is – can we use this free choice responsibly and wisely? Can we use it to help us to be ‘connected’ to ourself?

Just in reading the above information, you may now get a clearer sense of how these four aspects of our being (physical, etheric, astral and ‘I’) are intimately connected.

The challenge for us all, is to keep this connection in a healthy and conscious way. When one or more of these four aspects are out of alignment then the connection is lost to some degree. Keeping the connection takes energy, focus and a certain amount of consciousness.

This is what I call the practical, everyday work of being on a spiritual (personal) development path.

Connection With The Spiritual Realms

We can now move onto our second aspect of connection, which is our ‘Connection with the Spiritual Realms’. This is even more complex than the human being and our connection to Self.

The Spiritual realm is a huge topic, and I certainly cannot cover the whole extent of it here. However, once again, I will give a basic overview, and if you choose to go down that long rabbit hole again, you can do so.

One thing that I personally find useful when studying, is getting clear on the terminology of the topic or area that I am studying. This, for me, gives it a solid framework and context that holds everything in place and gives it some sort of order.

Certain references and touchpoints make it easier to follow and understand.

The context of my study and work within this field is, primarily, from the 25 years connected to Anthroposophy and the work and initiatives of Rudolf Steiner.

The Higher Spiritual Realms

Angels – Archangels – Archai – Exousiai – Dynameis – Kyriotetes – Thrones – Cherubim – Seraphim – Elohim

Above are the names of the spiritual realms or hierarchies that I wish to share with you. Each one, each rank, if you will, has a specific set of principles and energies that radiate down on us.

To engage with each of these hierarchies/beings requires a high skill of experience and practice.

The work in making a ‘connection’ in any/each of these realms is a bit like the difference between swimming, snorkeling and scuba-diving, and where the less experienced and developed spiritual students and workers usually get sifted out.

Identifying and understanding how each of these hierarchies works on us and affects us is an important factor if we are going to have a true ‘connection’ rather than some fantasy about what we are working with.

This, in all earnestness, is challenging work that involves deep spiritual practice.

In my opinion, and from my experience, and from the observation of my own Spiritual Teachers, these realms can only be reached when one is ready – when one has fully learned and earned the ‘rite of passage’ through the Spiritual gateway; through the Abyss past the ‘Guardians of the Threshold’.

This is the only true way to make that Spiritual connection. Anything else is a dis-connect and from the human ego. This is why I continue to speak about the importance of the ‘preparation’ stage of spiritual work.

Without this preparation (and the right schooling) the connection is not generally possible.

Now to bring this all together and connect the two – the Human being and the Spiritual Realms, and for you to get a sense of what these two connections really mean.

I would like to sum it up by saying that our own human/spiritual growth is as dependent on the spiritual hierarchies, as theirs is on us, therefore, the more we grow and expand, so do they, and they can then develop into their next level of transformation, as we can.

As stated at the beginning of this article, this is a complex topic and I have really only ‘picked the bones’ out of it. I trust that it has set you on a deeper path of understanding and study. It is never ending …

To live a glorious life is a life that is fully embraced in richness, harmony, peace and joy.

In the world of today the emphasis is on hurriedness and busyness, making the glorious life to be but a notion, a far away dream like a faery tale. Or is it?

I have come to know through lived experiences, combined with acquired knowledge through the years, that there is a way to have a glorious life.

For many people the swing of the pendulum happens when something major takes place in their life, this is when they will make a concerted effort to find new ways of living each day, all in the hope of living longer.

They most often go on a quest to find inner peace, and healthier ways of living in the hope that their body will be restored to what is called good health.

So, where does it all start? I invite you to take a journey with me for a few minutes and read the story of when it all began.

Into the household arrives a new baby, the excitement of the new arrival captivates everyone, and the new parents are thrilled with the love and attention shown to both them and their little bundle of joy.

The weeks and months go by and the flurry of visitors diminishes, the new mum is feeling the “weight” of the new arrival.

She is tired, even exhausted, perhaps has painful nipples or breasts, her body is out of shape and she is feeling rather low in energy, self-confidence and self-esteem.

As the weeks go by, she pushes herself to regain her body to be as it was pre-birth of the little one, body image is paramount to her.

The sleepless nights and his wife’s tiredness takes a toll on the new dad, he is either more immersed in the football, cricket games or his car, or perhaps taking longer hours at work.

Maybe the new mum is one of the fortunate ones (as it is thought) who has a husband that shares in taking care of the new baby.

6 months have gone by and the new mum is wanting to return to work, to be somebody to have a mission, to feel worthy again. She returns to work and baby is placed in a creche each day.

The mental note being that it is good for baby to meet new people to socialise with other babies.

Not long into being in the creche baby is frequently sick, and mum or dad must stay home to take care of their precious bundle of joy. But this was not in the plan of regaining the body image, or the sense of being important fulfilling a role that has a purpose.

So, over the repeated times of baby being sick there is a discord happening. Without either mum or dad realising there is a growing lack of connection between all 3 of them.

The days are hurried everyone meeting deadlines, having to be somewhere by a certain time, there are tasks to complete, projects to finish.

The weekends come around and it is the same, a hurried rushed, 2 days of catching up with friends and family, by now the baby is 1 year of age and there are the must attend birthday parties for their little friends.

By Monday everyone is over tied, exhausted and away they go on the same wheel of rushed busyness, no time to spend together to sit and laugh, to take in the colour of the sky, the beauty of nature let alone sit in stillness.

More often is the case, the house is filled with noise, be it television, children’s toys, screens of all sizes with blaring videos or games repeatedly crashing into the sound barrier. And the added hurriedness to be somewhere, do something.

Conversations become more frantic and stressful as time goes by, the daily demands of seeking self-satisfaction by way of being recognised grows and grows, as the separation from self and others grows and grows.

Then one day a visit to the doctor confirms the quiet worry in the back of the mind that there is indeed something very wrong with either mum or dad.

The immediate response is to take up the treatment offered by the medical person, and after a quick rest for a day or two the hurriedness commences, and all is as it was. Or is it? The medication must be changed and increased, the symptoms increase, the sickness takes hold.

And now the need for support, to be cared for, to feel loved emerges as if a new hurriedness as come into play. But where is everyone, where are all the good friends and the family members, the people who fussed over the new arrival and parents?

Surely after all the birthday parties and quick catch ups everyone is by our side in an instant?

Only we find that no, they are all in their own hurriedness and busyness, they may call over or give us a call on the phone to see what is happening and how things are going.

Only now we come to realise that we are again looking for our place of importance with other people and now the need is a different kind of importance. It is one that matters in the heart, and to the very core of our existence. Also known as feeling loved and wanted.

So now, as we are forced to sit quietly in order to get well, we find our mind wants to constantly show us the path we have been hurrying along these past months, perhaps years.

Often there are tears of regret, even resentment if we haven’t learnt to forgive and to know how to hear our heart and soul speak to us. The over aching question is how did I get to be so disconnected from my life?

If it is a physical ailment, we look for the ways to restore the body not knowing that we are also in need of resorting our emotional and mental wellbeing.

So, the tears are more frequent the rise of difficult emotions are almost daily and still the question comes to mind… “When did I lose myself”?

Feeling connected to others is an important and necessary part of our lives, it is in these connections that we can find support, feel worthy, valued, loved and cared for.

We are not solo beings, we are like most living creatures be it mammals or animals, each requiring family groups, peer groups and social groups for our ongoing survival. More importantly the way we can experience the many different and amazing things that life must show us.

But the widening of being separated begins from when we are born and we enter our first environment of life, our home. And this is in no way an issue of blame, people only know what they know, and do what they know to do.

We lose our own sense of identity and who we really are in our formative years as we blunder through other people’s demands, expectations and then we enter into the education system, where again we are put into systemisation that has no room for our unique independence or personality.

As we go into teen years, we look for groups that will accept us, where we feel we fit in, to belong all the while still trying to belong in a way that others accept rather than knowing how to just BE ourselves.

For some love comes our way and we marry, and here we start another cycle of seeking to be accepted, to please, to feel, and be wanted. All the while becoming more and more separate from our authentic self.

Over time pain and ongoing health issues come up more and more regularly or a diagnosis of a chronic illness such as fibromyalgia, IBS, Crohn’s disease, migraines, arthritis, even cancer. The list is long.

Now the pendulum has swung far, far to the other side and here we find ourselves sitting thinking “How did this happen, where did I become so separated from everyone and from myself’?

The flurry and rush to find a cure to be well begins…. or does it?

Perhaps the quietness the stillness becomes a knowing that this is what is needed, to simply be in the moment to acknowledge there is more to knowing oneself than seeking to be of importance, to look for worthiness by way of what we do or for someone else to say we are worthy.

And the mighty want to look a certain way for admiration and physical beauty (which is after all in the eye of the beholder).

It is not a failing in one’s life to go through any of this story. It is only a failing when we don’t recognise that we can live a glorious life, and take action to put simple practices into our lives every day.

Here are some simple practices you can begin today to embrace a glorious life, these practices will pave the way for you to be more deeply connected to your heart which brings inner peace, to your higher consciousness which brings ease in everyday living, to your soul which has the wisdom for you to use the innate ability to self-heal and to know how to quieten the chatter of the mind which brings harmony and peace mentally, emotionally and physically.

How To Reconnect To Your Heart

· Begin your day with feeling into your body and noticing where there is tension.

· Take 5 long slow breaths in and out and with each one allows that tension to dissipate from the body.

· Take a few minutes to quieten the mind address its chatter as if filing unnecessary papers into the bin and acknowledging what is needed to be seen to as the day goes by.

· Eat for nourishment not convenience.

· Move for releasing tension and stiffness in the mind and body at least 30 minutes of walking a day will do it!

· Drink water, your cells of every organ in the body need water… not coffee, not tea, not juice WATER, filtered spring water is ideal.

· And here is the BIG one that is a must do every day be HONEST with yourself, don’t say yes when you know you want to say no. be honest about relationships, work environment and make a decision to change something in them every day until you can make the necessary change that your heart yearns for.

Enjoy a glorious life it is yours to live every day.

During a recent assessment of a young male client I asked, “What is the most important thing to him in his life?” He replied, “Connectivity to people.”

I asked him to expand on that and why it was so important to him. His reply was; “To make my life seem more significant as we are all connected on some level.”

To say we are all connected on some level is what the philanthropists tell us, and metaphysics believe that our connectivity far expands our conscious mind.

I like to look upon life in real time, to be living in the present, which paves the way for a strong foundation within oneself. From this foundation we can form valued inspired and worthwhile meaning to our connectedness with others.

You see we create a beautiful ripple effect, like the pebbles across the water, and with everyone that we cross paths with, we have that effect.

Be it the person at the grocery store, or sitting next to someone on a bus or train, waiting in a queue. Whenever we are near another person, we are connected in the unseen energy spaces between us.

It has come to be known that our thoughts affect our energy. On a more practical level it is easy to see the energy of a person simply by observing their posture, their way of walking and how they speak.

Our spoken words are full of energy and connect with the person who hears them on much deeper levels than can be seen by the human eye.

At any time you are in another person’s energy field, you can change the connectedness through a kind word or gesture.

I like the ideology of the young man whereby he feels that connectivity makes life seem more significant. For me connectedness begins with self, you see to live a life of harmony and fulfillment one must first be connected to one’s own heart and soul.

This is not so easy for many people, because the distractions that are created in this life take us further and further away from our heart, and from hearing the song of our soul, or even the guidance of our soul.

To have a deep connection between our heart and soul is our foundation. It is in this that we have a place of infinite strength and energy from which to draw on throughout our life. It is from this well of energy and strength that we can heal ourselves and find peace.

When we have the foundation of connectedness to our true self, our heart and soul, our connection with others change. Life becomes more harmonious, easier if you will.

Connection and connectivity for me expands beyond the human connection. Our connection to nature, the forest, oceans, rivers and animals and even air and sunshine is the way for us to know true connectivity to all living beings.

All of nature is full of connectedness, it is full of energy. It is through our ability to connect with nature that we can have a greater sense of place in the world. It is through our connection with animals that we can find a deeper sense of compassion.

Nature is a force to be reckoned with and a force that mankind is not able to control. Through acceptance of this force we come to have a greater, deeper understanding of being connected.

When we understand the way of nature and we watch how nature is connected in every way, we see that nothing in nature has resistance. Nature simply ebbs and flows. It blooms and it passes without resistance. It does not hold on to what has been.

It is when we can sit in that connectedness and understand the ebb and flow of nature, we are able to bring a greater sense of significance to life.

To use the words of the young man, connectedness allows us to have a way of being able to share and support others in their path. Which brings me back to being like the ebb and flow of nature.

We do not see the demand for place or power in nature, all things grow and expand together. When we can be in a place of connectedness, we experience a life that is joyful and peaceful.

The overall affect is the pebbles over the water, the ripple effect. And the continuous connectedness expands more than our energy and mind can see.

To be connected to one’s heart is in fact the most amazing journey that we could take in our life, it is also one that brings us to having deeper connections with everyone we choose.

To be connected to our soul is the greatest journey that we can take in this life. So often we find that our time in our connectedness is run by the mind. The mind is where we find our connectivity to all things.

Things from our forefathers, our parents and the schooling systems.

All connectivity has its place, but at the end of the day the connection that you have with your own heart and soul is the most important. As mentioned in the article earlier this is our foundation that provides us with a deeper sense of knowing and understanding of connection.

Connectivity expands beyond the conditioned mind and the noise of the mind. Connectivity beyond the mind means we can embrace a strong foundation of being grounded and centred from the earth, up through the physical self, and beyond what can be seen.

Connectivity to Mother Earth and all life force from Mother Nature is what allows us to enjoy a sustainable world, therefore a sustainable life.

Freedom, peace and harmony can be found through connectivity to oneself. Through learning and applying daily practices such as spending time in nature, sitting in a quiet space, allowing the mind to be quiet, we can connect to our innate wisdom and the energies around us.

Through this knowledge we can call upon the powerful healing energy that resides within all of us. Learning the art of paying attention to the breath, and doing simple practices such as 5 deep slow breaths, 3 times a day brings a greater sense of awareness, therefore connectivity to oneself.

Looking within our own heart is often a challenge for many of us. Within the heart, little do we know, there are many things that we have held that we do not wish to look at.

I encourage you to be courageous, to let your heart speak and then hear the messages of your heart. It is here that you find freedom. It is here that you can begin the release of pain, sorrow and even resentment and anger.

To begin the journey of forgiveness is the greatest connectivity that you can have with yourself.

Daily practices such as enjoying a freshly made juice, eating fresh fruit and vegetables that are seasonal, is another practice that you can do to increase your connectivity to yourself.

Food affects the connectivity of your physical body on a cellular level. It is this connectivity which determines the overall health of the body.

Spending time with people who inspire, motivate, listen to, and encourage you is another way of bringing greater connection to others into your life. It is also how you bring a greater depth of connectivity for others. Again, the ripple effect comes into play.

It is the ripple effect that brings us to a more meaningful way of connection between people. The intention you have in your thoughts, words and actions affects the level of conscious connection.

With greater intention through conversations, you are able to bring healing light and joy to others. Remembering that as you do, you expand the ripple effect, and it goes beyond what your conscious mind is able to perceive, and far beyond what your eyes are able to see.

Another practice that you can do on a daily basis that will increase your connectivity, is to build a strong foundation of what it is you would like to be able to achieve each day. So often we get lost in the demands of going to work and of doing our job.

Remember earlier in the article where I mentioned you have a connectivity, even when you are standing next to someone in a queue, or sitting next to them on a bus or a train, the same applies to the work environment.

It is your intention of what you wish to bring into the work environment, which then creates the connectivity you experience.

You can create the ripple effect in your workplace, you are able to change an environment that is unpleasant, perhaps stressful, through the way you connect to yourself first.

The actions and reactions you make in the workplace, such as being present in all that you do, rather than participating in office gossip.

Maintaining your focus on the tasks that you have at hand, and staying present with those tasks, is what will enhance the connectivity throughout your work environment.

Tiredness and exhaustion can be overcome through applying daily practices of connectivity, first to self, then through the principle of the ripple effect, to reach out to others, no matter where you are whether you are at work, play or home.

Some may say that a lot of what we experience in the workplace or in relationships is put upon us because of the restraints in the workplace, or by the behaviour of a spouse or child.

I would say it is a perception, and therefore something that can be changed through being present. Through being aware, and choosing to be connected to yourself first. Then sending that beautiful connectivity out to all around you, in the workplace.

Some practices that you can use to enhance your connectivity for all who reside with you in your home is to spend time with each other laughing, playing, indulging in some fun games that bring about a lightness, so it uplifts the energy between everyone.

And of course, the power of a hug, a most beautiful tactile interaction is the greatest connectivity that we can experience for ourselves and what we can share with others.

Do you feel dizzy with the avalanche of social media material that lands on your computer every day? I do. I get pop-ups appearing uninvited, requests from people I’ve never heard of, multiple emails from a website I showed a vague interest in months ago, plus so much more!

In a world where everyone seems to be getting more and more connected online, many of us feel hugely disconnected. We yearn for good, old fashioned, face-to-face conversation.

Clients tell me that they miss people looking up to say good morning at the bus stop, they miss chatting around the lunch table at work, they miss interaction with their children who seem to be eternally glued to their mobile devices.

Most of us, if we’re honest, will admit that we struggle to focus and concentrate because of the constant distractions demanding our quick attention.

Many business owners, bemoan the battle to get noticed on the internet. With over one billion websites and trillions of snippets of information there is so much noise, so much material, so many marketers competing for our attention!

A common complaint is that people suffer more than ever from the debilitating state of overwhelm, which can lead to high levels of stress and cause damage to both the body and the mind.

I was disturbed, but not surprised, to read recent research which shows that Facebook posts promoting frustration, envy, lust or anger get the most attention. Just because we are connected to something online doesn’t mean it’s good for us.

Most web algorithms today are based on what is trending and often the lowest common denominator of user preference wins, which means content that doesn’t require much thought, trivial posts, meaningless tips, or laughing at someone else’s faults become popular.

And as we all know, just because something is popular, doesn’t necessarily mean it is good for us.

We live in a first world country and are blessed with comfortable lives, but therein may lie a problem. The comfort zone in which we live, can actually be a really uncomfortable, unfulfilling, lonely place to be. I would like to challenge you to consciously connect.

Really think about which websites attract your attention. Make an effort to connect with organisations that are striving to make a positive difference in the world.

Share meaningful, uplifting content with your connections. Maybe then we will see more social justice pop-ups and charity promotions. We may even feel re-energised about the internet.

By living a life that is emotionally and spiritually rich, we can have a positive influence on others and encourage them to join us in creating a more caring, consciously connected world.

Did you know that the UK has appointed a Minister for Loneliness? My first thought when I heard this was – what a sad indictment on our society!

We often think it’s only the elderly who feel alone. We understand that old people might be physically unfit and stuck at home on their own. We can accept that their children will have grown up and moved away from their home town.

But this loneliness epidemic is not owned by the old. In my role as a Life Coach, I’ve spoken to people of all ages who feel isolated and invisible in our modern world. In fact, I experienced this myself a few years ago.

When we moved to Australia, we enjoyed being part of a vibrant primary school community, but when my two daughters started high school and became more independent, I felt less needed.

Many of the school mums I was friendly with went back to work; my husband travelled overseas more often for his job and I was shocked at how lonely I felt during those long days.

Abraham Maslow shows us in his hierarchy of needs that once human beings have attained the basics for survival i.e. food, shelter and safety, we then crave love and a sense of belonging because we are made for community.

Having studied human nature for years, I knew that all I needed to do was open my heart and mind, then start the process of creating the change I wanted in my life.

So, I decided to set up a group for women who were seeking connection and a new purpose in life. Making the decision to do this was easy, even talking about it wasn’t too hard, but the actual ‘doing’ stumped me.

My reptilian brain immediately went into fearful mode with negative self-talk shouting in my head: What if nobody comes along? You don’t really want the responsibility of organising gatherings, do you? Why bother?

What will others say when they discover you’re lonely and lost? You’re ill-equipped to start something like this on your own… I gave into this negative thought pattern and procrastinated for ages.

Staying safe in my comfort zone left me feeling stuck and very uncomfortable. Throughout all this time I was telling my girls to “be the change you want to see” and I felt guilty that I wasn’t practicing what I preached.

Scrolling through feeds on the internet later that same day, I saw this quote “If it’s to be, It’s up to me!” It only takes one person to start the ball rolling on any new project, and I knew this message was telling me it was my turn to act.

So, I took a deep breath, told my unconscious thoughts to be quiet, overcame procrastination with action and invited local ladies to join me at the community hall. I set the tone for this meeting to be an opportunity for us to support one another, share, learn and have a laugh.

That was three years ago, and we have been meeting regularly ever since, with new ladies joining us all the time. What I didn’t know at that time was just how much this neighbourly gathering would positively impact my own life.

Some of my closest friends are women I met through this group. It was the best decision I ever made. I love it. I can’t imagine where I’d be now if I hadn’t taken that action.

And a positive side effect is that this community has helped me to grow my business. These ladies asked me to share coaching tools and techniques with them and teach them how to take control of their lives.

Building community requires openness, a willingness to change, a desire for things to be different and action! Nothing changes or improves if we don’t put time and effort into it.

If you’re feeling a bit lost and lonely, don’t be afraid to admit it and let me encourage you to create something in your own local area. You won’t regret it, I promise.

Loneliness is worldwide, and no one is immune. We combat loneliness through genuine connection with others. You can help put a stop to loneliness now by reaching out to others.

You will be pleasantly surprised because you will receive more than you ever give. If you don’t believe me, give it a try!

We’ve all heard the saying, “we are all connected”, but what exactly are we connected too? Well for the sake of remembering our life education classes, where we learned that when we are born, we are connected to an umbilical cord that is attached to our mother.

This gave us life, a source of nourishment whilst we floated within the sacred space of her womb. So, what happens once we are born and the physical attachment of the cord is cut and we are now alone without that attachment?

Connection to all that is in our universe is part of our evolution. In this physical existence, we are born into families with a parent/s, for some there are siblings, then surrounded by extended families.

That is our genetic human connection. Life is all about developing and building deep and meaningful connections, with family, friends, group’s, community and overall with humanity. We can all play our part.

What we must do as a society is to see that for our planet to survive as a whole, we all need to be connected, keep sharing the positive aspects of what and who we are as part of humanity.

Why Are We Losing That Connection?

We cannot talk about connection without understanding that in today’s fast paced world its easy to feel alone, lost, overwhelmed and disconnected. We just don’t know what to feel or how to feel because what has been created through situations not of our control.

Compared to only 2-3 decades ago, (now I’m saying what my parents used to say, “like in the good ole days”) we are now living in a world that is totally reliant on technology (no, unfortunately we cannot do without it now, but we have to find a happy medium somewhere) and other contributing technological factors that are used to convey signals to energy towers, underground cabling systems and airwaves, that impact our lives.

There are countries that are constantly dealing with war, anguish, suppression and hierarchical control. There is an overwhelming increase in harm and cruelty on humanity, our environment and animal life.

Mental health issues, as well as more illness, diseases and stresses. People dealing with relationships issues, and financial stress loads. We are bombarded with visions of violence, through media, television. And it’s now all instant!

A Magic Thread Of Universal Connection

Don’t think for one minute you’re just this walking body of flesh and bone, this human vessel and nothing else.

We are divine infinite beings, connected to a higher power and source. When we feel a connection to someone, we create this invisible magical thread that is the source of connection, but it is also because we have already established this before.

We are part of soul families that we’ve always been part of. Ancient civilisations have always prayed, worshipped and given reverence to a higher power. That will never change. Of course, there are those that will vehemently argue that isn’t true one little bit.

When my father was dying, he believed that once we die, that’s it. Nothing, you’re gone. There’s nothing after that. But less than 5 weeks after he passed, he came to me in this majestic beam of iridescent white light, conveying words (through thought) to tell me otherwise.

But I’ve always known this anyway, because in this cosmic Universe we are as every bit connected. We are the stars, the sun and the moon. We are the wind, the earth, fire and water. When we die our body leaves our soul, not our soul leaves our body. We are always connected.

Connecting The Dots

Do you remember the drawing book that would show a picture incomplete, except for a series of dots? If we joined those dots with a pencil, we would go from one dot to another until we had visually bought to life a drawing of something.

It’s a bit like our lives. We can be a dot and move from one experience to another either consciously or not.

Sometimes you would make a mistake and have pencilled in going to the wrong dot. We would erase the mistake, then find the right dot to connect to and continued. So how do we find that balance, reclaim our connection, not just of this world but within ourselves?

Bringing the awareness of those that are doing the controlling and allowing ourselves to be controlled. We have been under the control of many false realisations for most of our entire lives.

We are no longer standing for, or allowing to be controlled by massive corporations, secret societies, corrupt governments and barbaric systems. We have been in a false matrix, and now humanity is waking up and as a collective, being heard.

Getting out of the matrix that has held humanity for so long is finally being recognized.

The Great Spirits Of Connection

I had trouble falling pregnant for many years. I was 30 years of age, and at this point my gynaecologist had said that time would be a factor, and that I should consider looking at IVF.

I wasn’t particularly keen on having to go down that road, so I remember saying “if it was meant to be it will happen”, and I consciously allowed myself to surrender to whatever was meant to happen.

And you guessed it, within 6 weeks I became pregnant. What amazing joy! I know there was help on a higher level for me. Other powers were at play assisting in my amazing miracle.

When you let go, or surrender, this is allowing you to be fully open, trusting to receive what is and guide you through life.

The one key piece of magical stardust to activate surrender is connection to the Universe.

When you consciously tune into the awe and wonder of ALL THAT IS, you rise above and feel empowered. You are the Universe manifesting itself through your feelings, emotions and through your beliefs.

Finding a way to connect on a spiritual level can be achieved through various ways. Many cultures use sacred chanting, dance, rituals to alter their consciousness at will and tune in to the interconnected energies flowing through all of life.

In short, magic is what happens when you experience divinity

My Loving Ways I Connect Universally

⦁ Doing a daily gratitude, (some choose to journal or do a daily verbal gratitude ritual)

⦁ Acknowledging my ancestors and loved one’s past.

⦁ As I drive in my car, I may choose for 5 minutes to send blessings and love to those people driving past me.

⦁ Do a daily Prayer of Protection to myself, family, friends, acquaintances, specific deities, those that I have had a grievance with, humanity and Mother Earth.

If you are feeling inadequate, lost, confused, or disconnected, it can be hard to go through your life not truly being who you know you are meant to be. We all just sometimes need a guiding hand.

Forensic Healing is the guiding light, it is a powerful system that allows the individual to find balance and align their energy field, to bring into harmony any feelings of disconnection and reconnect your unique divineness once again.

The people who are meant to be in your life, will always gravitate back to you no matter how far you wander.

Award-Winning Structured Natural Therapy
System That Combines Science and Intuition

Forensic Healing is a proven therapy system superior to all healing modalities, because it:

⦁ Profiles the client, identifying negative life patterns, archetypes, emotions, belief systems, and much more.

⦁ Clears curses, negative energies, rituals, and many other spiritual issues.

⦁ Activates spontaneous healing forces in the body for immediate changes.

⦁ Removes the negative conditioning stored in the DNA or cell memory

⦁ Uses healing secrets from ancient healing scripts combined with the most-advanced scientific methods.

⦁ Utilizes healing pathways that use physical, emotional, energetic or spiritual elements.

⦁ Heals deeply at a soul level by targeting soul facets, fragments, DNA etc.

⦁ Places a blessing on the client at the end of a healing.

⦁ Educates and empowers the client to understand themselves so they leave with new information to progress in their life.

⦁ Includes new Soul Module which removes embedded implants, AI programs, mind control systems and disconnects souls from the corrupted Matrix.

See Yourself Having A Dynamic New Experience

I look forward to hopefully meeting you, joining your journey and helping you in any way to ride the waves of growth, new beings and this wonderful life we truly can find inspiring and inspirational!

Many Blessings, Love & Joy To You All

More than ever before human beings are failing to connect with one another because they are communicating from their social mask or persona.

In other words, they are mistaking their rational mind or their irrational mind for their authentic self. Unfortunately, they lost, or never had a connection with their own heart so they well and truly have an identity crisis.

Surrendering to a deeper connection to yourself will give you the freedom you deserve and always wanted.

If you ask yourself “who is the I in my (I)dentity” you must admit if only to yourself your mind is in your way and not your real identity. The rational mind is logical and will surely keep you safe in your comfort zone and avoiding the unknown.

It will analytically cover up fear which is what is really holding you back. Your irrational mind will kick in under stress or crisis and put a wall of blame between you and others.

Then connection with self and others gets lost or diluted. This part of you repeats the same mistakes over and over.

The sweet spot within your soul is when your intellect becomes united with love. This is your deepest connection to self that is timeless and allows a deep connection to others without attachment or co-dependency.

This is your true identity or self-connection and it wants to explore the unknown and bring your greatest talents out to the world.

It unites both your passion & purpose with power & presence and allows you a deeper connection, deeper meaning in life and deeper influence to change the world.

So never forget that birds of a feather flock together. If you are living primarily from your mind (from the head up) you will only attract the same kind of person in business and life – even intimately.

So, this world wide identity crisis may in fact be very common but it is also very unhealthy and unfulfilling in all areas of life for countless millions of people worldwide.

This dilemma prevents you from enjoying life & true success in your personal & professional life. You are not committed because the head space has one foot in and one foot out.

How Did This Happen?

The world in general, especially first world countries with thriving economies through technology and rational thinking has lost connection with both humanity and soul. We have gone from heart to head in the last half century.

The words he or she is the salt of the earth was often used to describe an earthy honest person who had contracts between communities, farms, ranches and banks based on a handshake alone. Those days are long gone.

Those billions today who live in third world countries are less educated, less sophisticated and by outer appearances have less to look forward to but they are more grounded, grateful, happier, simpler and much more connected to spirit, themselves and those they love.

Their hearts are full and their soul’s intelligence leads their path.

How can you be different? How can you separate the wheat from the chaff? You must learn to connect with people from the inside out. You must learn first to connect with yourself from the inside out.

Your outer world is simply a reflection of your inner world. This is how you treat yourself. This is what you believe to be true and what you believe you deserve way down deep inside.

How can you be different? How can you separate the wheat from the chaff? You must learn to connect with people from the inside out. You must learn first to connect with yourself from the inside out.

Your outer world is simply a reflection of your inner world. This is how you treat yourself. This is what you believe to be true and what you believe you deserve way down deep inside.

People treat you the way you treat yourself. You treat people the way you treat yourself. The cosmos treats you the way you treat yourself.

In others words if you want deep change get the hell out of your own way by demoting your rational & irrational thinking mind and allow your inner most soul – intelligence & love which breeds a deep intuition of divine truth to emerge.

This will happen through your intention, allowing, observation, spiritual reading & reflection, timelessness, meditation, walks in nature, prayer or connection to the cosmos & source.

This is a new way of life and devotion. To manifest and open to receive all that you deserve the inner ground of your soul must awaken to vulnerability and humility.

The more physically and psychologically grounded you become the more real you will come across to everyone. The more real you will feel to yourself.

This is the authentic you. How will you know? You will feel like you can walk on water and never ask another person what you should do or where you should go because you will become the truth. You will just know. Let’s now consider how influence which makes the world go around.

How About A Brief Self – Assessment?

No Influence . . . No Dream

⦁ Are You sick and tired of disappointing Life & Outcomes?

⦁ And worried all the time that you sabotage your Life & Business from Explosive Growth?

⦁ Do you secretly have fears that your greatest leadership talents won’t get rewarded?

⦁ Seriously what is lacking in YOU? – Authority, Presence, Empowerment Skills, Persuasion Skills, Failure to Sell yourself to your Team & Customers & Prospects or SIMPLY Lacking in Clear Purpose or Vision?

All Your Setbacks in life are All Good if and Only if YOU learn to Transcend these Dynamics

Just in summary, to gain better connections with people you must first and foremost have a much better connection with yourself. This is a deep journey beyond the mind in the higher realms of consciousness that humans are very capable of.

From this honest, truthful and authentic space you can transcend your old way of being based on childhood and multigenerational conditioning and programming that created bad habits that limit your entire life.

From this higher self-connection, you can influence others towards their destiny with better character and behavior. To do this effortlessly, you must first master the six core values of influence; authority, empowerment, persuasion, listening, communication and differentiation.

It helps to know this information but it is not enough. You must seek to master and embody these qualities so they become second nature over time.

We can suggest that you find an expert coach, trainer, therapist and mentor who can guide your sacred transcendent process towards the greatest version of yourself which is well and truly what you deserve and your destiny for this life.

The Summer scented leaves of an emerald green willow tree whisper gently upon softest breeze tapping out nature’s lullaby on my bedroom window to sound the arrival of another blue-sky morning of sunshine, birdsong and infinite possibility.

As I open my eyes each day this is the first thing I see, hear and feel. The World I wake up to every morning is a beautiful place. It’s a place created of love, and connected by love, where I find myself quietly at one with the nature of all things.

‘Love is the one and only answer’
Albert Einstein

The World we paint for ourselves and each other has the potential to be as magical and mysterious as we choose it to be from one day to the next. We all have the free-will to govern this in each moment of artistic self-expression.

On my journey, it has taken many moments of darkness, despair, heartbreak and fearful solitude to finally accept, surrender, and to know what love is relative to the equation of my life and the sum of my experiences of living.

If I add up the number of times I’ve swam against the tide of fortune, when it felt like I was on the wrong end of fate or when I’d worked so hard to achieve a goal or personal milestone only to have success snapped away by the jaws of defeat, you may think that this would paint a depressing picture?

On the one hand, you would be right – too depressing to imagine the myriad of nightmare scenarios and the extent of toxic emotional debt created by compound failure and the rapid degradation of self-belief again and again.

On the other hand, you may be surprised how the pain of doing nothing about failure becomes greater than the pain of doing something.

For me, I’ve slowly and painfully calculated how the ashes of my perceived misfortune are divinely interconnected to the inner-Phoenix I now call ‘love’.

Love ignites a flame within illuminating the light of intuition, teaching courage to ingenuity, showing vulnerability in humanity and revealing a Universal sensitivity that is the unlimited gift of self-love and a love of all things.

‘The doctor of the future will be oneself’
Albert Schweitzer

Waking up to love has been perhaps the most powerfully self-destructive and intensely beautiful process of my life. After losing Carole, my Fairy-tale Princess, to terminal cancer in 2011, I decided to take a long hard look at myself in the mirror that is my life.

I went to the deepest and darkest recesses of my own mind and climbed down the ladder into the bowels of my emotions with the sole intention of searching for answers about life and love in hope of finding myself.

On 28 December 2011, I sat in front of a mirror in my bedroom and screamed silently with all my heart at the stranger before me – he streamed my tears and I wiped my face.

I wanted to know that Carole was OK – a sign, a happenstance, anything that would give me reassurance that there was a place for love to live on. In my desperation, I wanted connection.

At the time, I had no idea that this would be the beginning of a never-ending journey of personal transformation into a World that had simply been waiting consciously for my arrival. This World was my Universe.

Very quickly things began to change. Intuitively, I found synchronicity in the strangest of places and at the most random times. People I didn’t know popped up in my life.

Some stayed for a few minutes, some for days and others for much longer – all with messages and all with love.

My wife’s maiden name was Carole Wain and while scribbling on a note pad one day I realised her name was an anagram of ‘Cranial Woe’. Carole had died from a brain tumour. Her favourite word was ‘Carousel’ – another anagram, ‘Carole Us’.

Thinking about some of our favourite things to do in the Summers evenings of our early relationship, I remembered how we’d lay on the bonnet of my car with backs against the windshield looking at the stars.

Carole’s favourite constellation was ‘The Plough’. I found reference to one of The Plough’s previous names in Medieval history, formerly known as ‘Charles’s Wain’ – Wain was Carole’s maiden name.

I interpreted ‘C Wain’ as ‘see Wain’. This connected me to the Universe and in a profoundly beautiful way restarted my journey into super-consciousness.

In July 2012, I started to write ‘Dreams, Rainbows and Butterflies’ as a treasure of memory for our children. It was a cathartic and very emotional process of celebration and a moment of deeply personal self-discovery beyond that which I ever thought possible.

After a very long day of writing at the beginning of December 2013, Carole appeared to me in a dream and was reading to me the last words I had written that very evening when she asked me to listen.

Still asleep, I heard the following words. Carole repeated them twice, asked me to remember them, wake up and write them down. We spoke to each other as if we were having a very normal conversation face to face, in real time, even though I was in deep sleep.

‘I am not who but how and when,
I am not tell but show and do,
I am not life or death,
I am your teacher,
I am love’

The following morning, I awoke abruptly remembering our dream. I dismissed it as a moment of wishful thinking and turned over to see a notepad
and pencil on the bedside table. As I picked up the notepad, I read her words written clearly in pencil by my hand.

My spine tingled. I wept, as I do now. Carole’s name had previously drawn upon my fascination and I remembered making some research notes that explored the numerological vibration of the word ‘Carole’.

I found my notes. ‘Carole’ had exactly the same vibration as the word ‘Love’. Carole’s words, in that moment, became the foundation upon which everything is formed in the Universe of my mind.

Sometime later, I started to study the secret science of numerology and have since discovered a beautiful association between Carole’s core numerology and my own. I call this the ‘mirror’.

When I think back to the day I screamed silently at the stranger in the mirror, with love from the darkest and deepest recesses of my broken heart, I realise now I manifested outcomes I could never have previously dreamed possible or even contemplated within the realms of logic or understanding.

I also wonder sometimes if we as ‘human beings’ truly know how powerful our thoughts and intentions really are. Perhaps we are all each other’s teachers – all mirrors of human nature – and what we see in others is a reflection of that which we see, hear, feel, experience and respond to within our own self and to the World.

Maybe we are all students too and are here to learn many things about life, ourselves, and each other. What would the World be like if we all balanced everything on a scale of love knowing that love connects all of us in heart.

Today’s Summer scented leaves of an emerald green willow tree whispered gently once more on softest breeze tapping out nature’s lullaby on my bedroom window to sound the arrival of another blue-sky morning of sunshine, birdsong and infinite possibility.

The World I wake up to every morning is a beautiful place. It’s a place created of love, and connected by love, where I find myself quietly at one with the nature of all things. It’s the place I go to heal. It’s the place I love.

“I may as well be alone” my thought floated out loud, the words punctuating the night air as I lay in bed staring at the ceiling. I’d been in the room for a good 40 minutes using my psychotherapeutic skills to calm myself.

I had witnessed something earlier that night which triggered an old trauma of mine.

I’d calmed myself within about 20 minutes then I lay and waited for my husband to come and check on me. He knew my history, at least he should have, and he certainly knew that what I’d seen had disturbed me enough for me to retreat to the bedroom as soon as we arrived home.

Finally, he arrived, but he had not come to comfort me, or even to ask how I was, but to sleep. With his back turned on me I couldn’t avoid how alone I felt, any more than I could withhold speaking it into the night.

What is the point of being in a relationship if the significant other can’t comfort you when you have been terrified?

This rude awakening became a marker in time from whence there was no turning back. 20 years of marriage, 5 children, and this was the depth of our connection? This wasn’t the first evidence but certainly the most obvious, I was essentially, unignorably, alone in the relationship.

Within 3 months we were separated, 2 years later we became another statistic of failed connectivity.

Five years prior to this event I had added the specialisation of couple’s therapy to my skill set as a psychologist. In training and practice I leant the check list of a good relationship.

To my horror I realised my marriage not only failed this list but successfully ticked all 4 of Gottman’s horsemen of the apocalypse, sure signs the relationship was doomed.

Running through our individual profiles our relationship counsellor enthusiastically noted how, despite our differences, we had both expressed a desire for greater connection. Look! We both wanted the same thing. Her observation offered little hope.

It was already painfully obvious that sharing a bed, 5 offspring, years of sex, thousands of dinners, and almost the same life for over 20 years could not guarantee a sense of connection, no slur on our individual charms we were, in truth, simply far too different from each other.

I felt more connection with my female friends than with my husband. After months of agonising I decided I wanted connection more than anything, and I wanted it with someone more like me. With some distance from the marriage I set out to discover the connection I longed for.

Connection seemed to be the paradoxical catch phrase in the age of worldwide connectivity. Online you can find a like minded soul, time zone permitting, anywhere in the world, yet still have no one to go and catch dinner and a movie with.

Longing for connection echoed was in many online dating profiles. People who had met fleetingly or had an intense relationship in which they felt they had found ‘the one’ longed for a replication.

Connection, it seemed, could be found in a spark of intensity, a fantasy fulfilled, no doubt a cocktail of dopamine and oxytocin, but who cares when it feels so right.

Eventually I too found my connection, it was deep, intense and fulfilled my desire, but we were not alike enough for it to last.

Connection, the type that lasts, is about affinity, mutual interests, doing things together that both enjoy, having shared values and ideals for life.

Connection is an element we want in friendships and peer groups, where we find a common humour, share a similar background or childhood, have visited the same places.

Connection occurs over multiple levels. It is a little more than knowing like-minded others, it is when we find someone with whom we feel a ‘shared mindedness’.

We seek others who not only share common interests but someone who we feel, ‘gets’ who we are, someone who amplifies our us-ness. We feel most connected when we recognise ourselves in another.

Our desire to be seen, to have our uniqueness mirrored back in another person stems way back to infancy.

The development of our sense of self emerged within a relationship, usually the mother infant relationship, and has been most intensely researched by Margaret Mahler in her seminal work “The psychological birth of the human infant”.

It is no illusion that we need others to help us know ourselves. The nurturing gaze between mother an infant is an essential part of how she attunes to the relational needs of her baby.

Later, as the toddler becomes a little person waddling around exploring the world, her mother’s ability to sense and mirror back the possible thoughts, intentions and expressions of the toddler is essential for the healthy development of her ego.

The infant needs a sense of being separate while still being held in the mind of another. In an imperfect world no one parent can never perfectly mirror the toddler to him or herself. Some aspects are accepted and encouraged and others are not.

But close enough is good enough, it is severe lack of this kind of psychological holding, or the additional insult of abuse and neglect at this sensitive age that is thought to result in personality and psychiatric disorders later in life.

Even with all the love and care, the child who overall did not feel known, connected or security, attached to a parent at least some of the time, will often find themselves looking to relationships or therapy to try and fill this deep void where their sense of self should be.

However, good parental relationships do not inoculate against feeling isolated or disconnected. Even the most well-intentioned parent cannot control the genes they pass on.

Yes, there are genes that drive our sense of loneliness and ability to form connections.

In the same way that genes can give us a predisposition to depression or left handedness, we have clusters of genetics that can point us down lonely street no matter how much our mother loved us or how large our social network is. Interesting isn’t it?

There are genes that, if expressed, promote a sense of loneliness just as there are genes that drive our ability to form broad social networks or an inner circle of close friends.

Even more interesting is that genes for loneliness and connection are not mutually exclusive, we could have the genes to make us great at social connection, but still suffer a sense of inner isolation.

Being known needs a knower. There needs to be a willing other, a person who is similar enough to us for us to feel they could know us. Someone who knows themselves well enough to open the windows of their soul and beam a light into ours.

But even if this is present in a relationship, we have to recognise that the barriers to our sense of connection could reach decades back into our history or go deep into our biology.

It may not be the other, or time, or interests, but a childhood where we did not feel seen, or even, quite simply a manifestation of the loneliness genes.

The utility in this knowledge is the same as if we were to discover we had the childhood history genetic predisposition for anything, we do what we can to mitigate effects take mature responsibility for our psychological well being.

This could include seeking counselling and support systems, ensuring we have a good network and people we can reach out to. We hold in our awareness that how we feel may not be a personal fault of ours or anyone we are trying to connect with.

And we take note that if we are feeling this way, there are many others just like us and if we reach out, we might just find other kindred souls.

In a world where we are seemingly more connected than ever with a plethora of smart phones, tablets, laptops and the like, a much more disturbing picture is emerging; one in which people feel more alone than ever. How can this be? Our ancestors lived much simpler lives.

They didn’t have the technology we enjoy today, but studies suggest they were actually much happier. Depression, suicide, mental illness and chronic diseases of all types are on the rise and reaching all-time highs.

Technology was supposed to make our lives better, but if this doesn’t translate into more health and happiness, then surely something has gone wrong.
 
I grew up without mobile phones; without the internet even. I remember those long summer evenings where the kids from the neighbourhood and I would invent games, run through the fields, scrump apples and ride our bikes through the woods.

Those were some of the best days of my life. However, children today spend much more time in their bedrooms texting one another and sharing virtual experiences online. This is a sad and disturbing picture that is emerging.

We are losing our ability to truly connect. Studies have shown that being physically present with another, seeing their face, hearing their voice, touching them, even being in their “energy field”, if you will, are all extremely important parts of connection and communication.

These simply cannot be emulated by any amount of sophisticated software. And even if we can seemingly connect with more people than ever before, the truth is that we don’t take time to connect as deeply. We have replaced quality with quantity, but this comes at a heavy price.

Many people I have spoken to say that they feel lonelier, more overwhelmed, more chaotic than ever before in their life and this makes it exceptionally hard for them to develop and maintain healthy relationships and friendships.
 
Another problem is that technology is deeply distracting. It has been proven that new information, such as a new message, or post, or like, triggers the reward pathways of the brain, releasing dopamine, adrenaline and other chemicals. This creates an addictive pattern where we start waiting for our next ‘fix’.

Many of you will have already experienced how distracting social media and messaging platforms can be. It can even induce withdrawal symptoms when phones, for example, are taken away from regular users.

However, the most dangerous consequence may be the fact that this distractibility interferes with our ability to connect. Our phones beep and buzz and we find ourselves flitting from conversation to conversation, from one platform to another, over and over again.

This is an extremely taxing situation for the human brain, which has evolved (or was designed, depending on your belief system) to be more focused.

It is actually very stressful and depleting to be distracted in such a way and can have a deleterious effect on memory formation, concentration, as well as our emotional and psychological wellbeing. All of this, of course, impedes our ability to connect with one another.
 
Modern living is not just affecting our ability to connect with one another though, it is also taking us away from Nature. Indigenous people, by and large, still enjoy an intimate relationship with Mother Nature.

Many having a vast knowledge of her fauna and flora as well as the natural cycles and rhythms. However, those of us who have grown up in “civilised society”, especially in towns and cities, are quite likely to be somewhat estranged from Nature.

We are disconnected from the sun and moon cycles, which deeply affect our natural circadian rhythms, from the animal and plant kingdoms, on which we depend for food, medicine and much more, and from the Earth herself.

This disconnection from the natural cycles is also extremely detrimental to our health. Sleep disorders and many other diseases can all be linked to circadian rhythm dysregulation.

Since the invention of radio, we have been gradually polluting the ionosphere with more and more electromagnetic radiation. 3G and 4G are already installed across huge areas of the planet and 5G is being rolled out as we speak.

Officials reassure us that all of these technologies are harmless, but no long-term studies have been done on them, so this is an impossible claim to make.

There are many theories out there as to why these waveforms may harm us, but I would like to talk about one in particular: the Schumann resonances. These resonances are global electromagnetic resonances emitted by the Earth at 7.83Hz, 14.1Hz and 20.3Hz.

It is theorised that the majority of biological lifeforms attune to these frequencies in order to maintain harmony, homeostasis and good health.

It is a bit like the conductor of an orchestra who keeps all of the instruments playing in sync. Without him or her, there would be a cacophony of uncoordinated sound.

Another analogy would be a drum to which everybody dances, in order to stay on the same beat. The cells of our body all use these resonances to coordinate their efforts and stay healthy, especially at night when our bodies do most of their self-repair.

If we imagine for a minute that as well as the drum beating, there were people banging pans, rattling keys, using drills, screaming shouting and generally making a racket; it would become increasingly difficult, not to say impossible, for us to hear the drum.

This, I propose, is exactly what is happening to our ability to tune into the Earth’s frequencies and it is making us more disconnected from Nature than ever before, with great consequences.
 
Finally – and this is perhaps the most important thing of all to consider – all of this distraction is taking us away from ourselves. A distracted, addicted brain cannot process the wealth of emotional, mental and physical stimuli that we encounter on a daily basis.

Our brains need quiet time to defrag, unwind and do a little cerebral “housekeeping” so to speak. When we don’t get this quiet time, we become increasingly confused, overwhelmed and dysfunctional.

The benefits of meditation, mindfulness and other similar modalities are well documented. And when we take time out for ourselves, this, of course, helps us to better connect with others.

So, what is the solution? Do we need to throw away our phones, tablets, laptops and go and live in the forest? In all honesty, if it were feasible, that might not be such a bad idea. However, for most of us this is not necessarily either doable or desirable.

However, what we can do is start to make a concerted effort to limit our phone / screen time. We can limit our exposure to EMFs by switching off Wi-Fi when we are not using it, disabling mobile data on our phones when we are not using it and most importantly, choosing quality over quantity.

Next time you have an hour spare, rather than spending it on Facebook or WhatsApp, perhaps consider calling a friend and inviting them out for a tea, coffee or something a little stronger if you prefer.

Perhaps pay your parents, your auntie or your grandparents (if you’re lucky enough to still have them) a visit.

Maybe consider joining a dance club, or a yoga class or organise a dinner party. There are many ways to create real human connection, but first we have to become aware of the trap and decide to take the first step towards changing our old habits.

It is not easy, admittedly, but the rewards are huge and are motivating enough of themselves. It was not that long ago that we lived with greater connection. Many of us didn’t grow up with this technology.

Children, sadly, may find it much more difficult to learn to depend less on technology, which is why I think it’s especially important for parents to encourage their children to limit screen time even more than adults.

The bottom line is this, we all essentially want the same thing; connection and happiness (which go together, of course).

If we are completely honest with ourselves, I think most of us will admit that we already know that modern living is taking us away from both, but it’s not too late to make a change and I hope that these words might gently nudge you in the right direction.