CANCER… the dreaded C word…. YES I’VE HEARD IT, even in the same context as my name. When I was 22 years old, it was the scariest thing: I remember my specialist telling me, that I had Cervical Cancer.
I had gone to a GP on the Northern Beaches of Sydney for my routine pap smear, as I was feeling really tired and was bleeding intermittently. At 22 years of age, I was living it up and enjoying life, so my GP didn’t think there was anything to be alarmed by.
My smear came back normal. A month later I had lost a lot of weight, still bleeding and was 42 kilos, a walking skeleton. I could hardly put one foot in front of the other and lost my faith in my GP and asked my partner at the time to go to his doctor.
He was considered an ‘alternate therapist’ and a GP back then, not that I understood what that meant at that stage of my life.
He knew I was drastically ill and took such care with me and took more swabs and tests. After what appeared 48 hours later, I was given a specialist, had a biopsy and was in hospital.
The stormy day when specialists came into my room and told me that I needed to undergo surgery and have a hysterectomy so the cancer wouldn’t spread any further was a day I will remember and words I will never forget.
The words “you will never have children” still rings in my ears! Chemo would come after. My sense of womanliness and all things feminine were being challenged for me at such a young age.
By the time the information was given and the forms filled out, I felt the room spinning and I felt the most alone I have ever felt in my life.
I had no family near me, as they were overseas but, within that silence of my hospital bed, I felt the superficialities of life come crashing down around me. I felt a Presence whom I will call ‘God’ within me. I touched SOURCE deep within.
There was a moment in that deafening silence that my body filled with such light, warmth and sound that I could feel SOURCE spiralling from my solar plexus centre outwards and then back in and around my whole body.
It felt like every cell was alive and ready to be healed. My solar plexus was filled with ‘Presence’ so loud it was not going to be silenced.
I felt the pulse of CREATION in my body and there was no denying what I felt and heard. The words “Little One, you will be healed” came from within me, not outside of me.
In that moment, I knew with such grace, determination and surety that I would not sign the papers for the hysterectomy or chemo. I decided to remove as much of my cervix as possible to enable me to still carry children.
Whilst everyone thought I was crazy, I persisted that I was going to be alright. I had been given guidance that Spirit had given me the resources to learn and would show me what I needed to do, in order to change my life.
My life had been one that was not authentic to me. I was the consummate good girl and was indispensable to the men, in particular, in my life, as I thought that would make them love me.
I thought if I dressed sexy enough and learned tricks of manipulation to control their love, I would receive love. A dysfunctional belief pattern that I had learned and took on as my own. The belief that if you give love, it had strings attached and can be used later when needed.
I was dying inside. I made choices based on others’ needs and not my own. I gave my body no consideration in my world. It did not occur to me that it could speak to me and that I should look after it.
After coming out of surgery, I was told that my specialist visits would be fortnightly, then monthly, then every three months, working back up to yearly again. This took a period of 2 years to achieve.
In that time, I recommitted to looking after myself and started the healing journey of learning about Holistic Therapies, Meditation, Art Therapy, Energy Healing, Feng Shui and many other therapies.
I quit the relationship I was in, handed in my resignation from my corporate job. I took time to read, meditate and create a new life, start afresh, so to speak.
I allowed my soul to envision a new life and for it to emerge from my unconscious. I decided to look at the spiritual dimension of my life and use the gifts I was born with and which unfolded really quickly when I decided to take responsibility for my life.
My intuitive abilities, clairvoyance and other psychic powers helped me understand more clearly my responsibilities to myself. As a result, my vitality, willpower, self esteem and confidence enabled me to feel safe, so enabled me to connect to my inner source of strength as well as looking after my body healthily with exercise and eating organic high vibrational foods.
Fast forward 31 years and I am in a soulful relationship with my husband, have 3 beautiful sons for whom I feel blessed every day. They are a gift! I don’t look back! There is only the present and my life is a gift! There is no cliché!
This article is written for my own inspiration and for you, whilst not advocating Holistic Therapies for all to choose instead of the medical profession, it is a choice and when we have choice, we have responsibility and no one except yourself is responsible for it.
Whether on a mind, body or spirit level, educate yourself and learn about your own boundaries vital for your emotional and spiritual health.
Realising that I AM ENOUGH just as I am and that I LOVE myself without expectation now is something I work on every day and helping other women learn how to create sacred space and sanctuary for themselves in their lives and homes, honour their inner calling and bringing them to ‘Boori’, my own spiritual haven, to immerse themselves in the reverence of nature, is the most inspiring journey I can share along with them and knowing that it is only with loving ourselves that we can learn to love others.
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Karen Quant – Master Teacher Interior Alignment® & Creator Boori Boori
