Years ago I was caught in a negative cycle – a continuous loop of self-doubt, boredom, dissatisfaction and whinging. I was extremely unhappy in my job and that unhappiness spread to other areas of my life.
Every day I would wake up and think “Oh no, I have to go to work today. I don’t want to go to work. I want to quit. I hate my job.”
What started as a small dissatisfaction with my job grew larger and larger with every passing week. I’d go to work and be surrounded by other people who hated their job.
We’d pass each other’s desks and moan about the latest injustice. We’d all go to morning tea and lunch together and whinge there too.
Before long, whinging was the norm and I would easily and naturally find the negative aspect of any situation. If we had a party to go, I would manage to find what was bad about that. I could and would find the negative in EVERYTHING.
When you concentrate on the negative, you draw negative experiences to you. You draw negative people into your experience without even trying.
By thinking about how unhappy you are and about how you want everything to be better, you continue to draw the negative to you – even though you don’t want it.
A nice, little compounding effect starts to happen, think of compounding interest in your bank account (earning interest on your interest). Clever huh?
You think negatively so you draw other negative people to you. Your little group of negative people talk negatively and feed each others negative thoughts.
You start to draw negative experiences to you which adds more fuel to the fire with more things to complain about. The fire of negativity grows and grows until you have an out of control inferno wreaking havoc on your life.
Luckily the inferno that was growing around me was extinguished. I remember having a conversation with a colleague one day and actually noticing the words that were coming out of my mouth.
For the first time I really heard what I was saying. I scanned back over past conversations and was shocked to realise that I was depressing to be around.
I wondered who on earth would want to be my friend and spend time with me when all I did was complain. I wouldn’t have wanted to be my friend that’s for sure! I made a conscious decision right there and then to change my attitude.
I hate to think where I might have ended up if the inferno had kept building. It wasn’t an easy change to make, the decision was easy but changing the habit was not.
I concentrated on catching every negative comment before I said it. If I couldn’t say anything positive then I wouldn’t say anything at all (good advice from my Grandma).
Eventually I progressed to catching the negative thought before it became a comment. I also made an effort to replace the negative with a positive and practiced finding the positive in everything.
Slowly the old habit died and was replaced with a new positive one. Focusing on the positive made me feel better immediately. I started to attract more positive people to me and positive experiences came my way.
The good old Law of Attraction kicked in and the compounding effect began once again, only this time it was the positive that was compounding.
Now on the rare occasion I am not smiling at work, people notice and ask what is wrong. I consciously choose to spend my time with people who are positive and happy and avoid the people who drain my energy.
We all have times where we are sad, upset, angry or down and that is normal and to be expected. What we don’t want is to constantly feed the emotions that are detrimental to our health and wellbeing.
We don’t want to be the “Energy Vampire”, the person that leaves you feeling emotionally drained and exhausted every time you see them.
I love to spend time with people who uplift me and feed my soul, the ones that make me feel re-energised and happy after being in their company.
I want to be THAT person, not an Energy Vampire. The Energy Vampire within me was vanquished many years ago and I will never let it be reborn.
Listen to the thoughts in your head and to the words you speak. Are you an Energy Vampire? If you are, you have already cleared the greatest hurdle which is recognising it within yourself. Take small steps.
Catch the words before you say them. Smile more. Soon a new habit will be formed and you’ll be an irresistible flame that people are automatically drawn to.
The person who nurtures souls and uplifts spirits, effortlessly spreading positivity wherever you go. And best of all…you’ll want to be friends with yourself.
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Elizabeth Petersen
